My first blog post might be my last

I haven't written a blog post in 2 years. This is wild. This used to be a hobby of mine. I could write whatever I wanted and I didn't have to answer to anyone. I didn't have an editor, I didn't have to ask for my musings to be commissioned. It was just me pouring the contents of my brain across a page and clicking 'publish' and if you didn't like it, you could suck it. I could tell you to do that too because there was nobody to tell me not to. 

I've decided to re-start this blog of mine. I write all the time so it seemed strange not to put it all somewhere instead of hiding away in my bedroom in a dark corner resembling several similarities to Gollum, making strange noises at anyone that approached me too.

Another reason for my lack of writing publicly is presented above. I ramble far too much. So let's get to it. 

We are currently in the middle of a pandemic, epidemic- I don't know which to call it nor do I totally understand the meanings of these words and more often than not have to Google the words I read in the news #workingclass. The Coronavirus has been the only thing you will have heard about over the last couple of weeks and if not, do you live under a rock?! 

On Monday my boyfriend and I went food shopping to find that the entire contents of the pasta shelves had been ransacked. Almost every time I've been on social media this week it has riddled me with anxiety flicking through the countless Insta stories of bare shelves. The panic buying is a crisis in itself. A friend of mine works in Boots and has said that as soon as the doors open at 8am people begin to flood in and she has to stand at the front of the queue handing out bottles of hand sanitiser, to prevent fighting amongst customers- I might add that they have to limit it to two sanitisers per person. Toilet rolls have also been cleared from shelves, restaurants, bars, cafes, the lot. I seriously asked my manager this week whether I should hide the toilet rolls we have and restock them individually.

My best friend hysterically informed me via voicenotes on WhatsApp yesterday that the peanut butter had too, been snatched cruelly away from it's rightful owners. 

I'm unsure on where I stand with it all. I don't know whether to laugh or be terrified. I'm concerned for the health of my Grandparents, two of whom suffer with respiratory issues already. I'm worried about the lack of money I'll have, my work have continued to cut shifts this week due to the lack of footfall in the shopping centre I work in. One thing these last couple of weeks have shown me is that the ones with wealth are the ones that never seem to suffer. Which makes me question the phrase 'money can't buy you happiness' because for most people money offers safety and security most of us could only dream of. 

As an Actor I've seen Casting directors having to cancel auditions, shoots being cancelled, jobs being lost and with no sick pay for self-employed people it means that so many will suffer more than just a bout of flu. 

Not to mention those like myself that suffer with mental illness. Anxiety has really taken its toll these last couple of months and it has worsened in recent weeks due to the influx of negativity plastered across news outlets and social media. It really makes me question the society we've built.

Now more than ever we need to rise up as communities. We need to look out for our friends and family, ask how your loved ones are doing, sharing really is caring. Call them, check nobody is going without and if there's anything you might be able to share then do so. Food banks are suffering, mental health problems escalating, money is lacking so what can we do right now to make the world a better place? 

Sending you all love and light, 

Hannah xo